Third Times A Tangled Web

Spider-Man 3


My bad graphics sense is tingling.




Fun: C-


Features: N/A


Graphics: F Graphics? HA! This game doesn't even have Spidey's suit right!


Controls: C+


Multiplayer:N/A


AI: C


Repetitive Value: D


Depth: B-


Music: F


Presentation: C+


Level Design: B- At least the city is cool for the most part.


Single Player: C+



Overall: D-




Folks, one piece of advice for everyone who's doing late VG holiday shopping this year , DO-NOT-BUY-MOVIE-RELATED-GAMES. I don't know if it's just me, but nearly all of them SUCK. This year I, and every Spider-Man fan were shocked that this was also going to be put out with our daily waste. There is only ONE whole MRGS that I don't give to Game Crazy and hope for my money back (the little-), and that is (DUNDIDEDUNDUN) Spider-Man. If you want proof go play Spider-Man 2 and you'll see what I mean. But anyway, lets get nitty-gritty with this game shall we?


Well, the game was presented like any other MRGS game would, showing how to move, shoot webs, in a area totally untrue to the movie, blahblahblah. But I noticed I felt a bit darkened by the whole theme of the level, flames, dark color scheme, and about 90% of the time you were fighting the H-Bombers in their attempt to level a building. It just didn't seem like the ambiance we felt in Spider-Man 2. Maybe in coordination with the movie?



Speaking of the movie, this time, (and this version) the movie is put in more than any other Spider-Man game, the only "exclusives" being Mobius & Shriek and The Lizard. Other than that, that's it for the movie differences, but I can't help feeling disappointed at the lack of effort to make the rest of the game live up to the Marvel legacy.

And by "live up" I mean to point out the the abysmal GRAPHICS that this game has to offer. Yeah, not something this series stands for period. Going on a roof tour anytime soon? Then stop by the Empire State Building, go ALL the way up, and admire the clay buildings. They're cool, huh (cough cough)? All the characters look and sound like a dog with rabies ate them for breakfast and had a second helping of vocal cords and skin. If Tobey Maguire was singing on a mic, the sound waves would look like Donald Trump scribbling on a piece of paper for fun. Do the public gardeners do a bad job of trimming the grass in Central Park, or has Spidey shrunk? Did the lazy people at Vicarious Visions forget to color a WEAPON?!?! Wait a minute... did that thug just go through the CEILING? How come I walked off the building- AND I'M STILL ON THERE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Honestly, V.V., if you want to put out a game with all these graphical disgraces, expect a lawsuit from either Marvel, or US, on your doorstep in the near future.


Ayeayeaye, will this ride on the American Eagle ever END? Wait it gets better, the black suit rips the game even more out of whack. It doesn't just make Spidey look like he just took an overdose of measles medicine, it turns the already babyish fights into melted butter. They've made the most important thing in the movie into a thing that rips the fun of this game to ribbons. Lets see, you get to use it, hmm, about a minute after you take it off. And when you put it back on, you're ready to beat ton after ton after ton after ton of snot out of the Dragontails, all over again. In fact, I was so glad when the time came to ditch it forever I danced in my shoes and honked a bicycle horn in celebration. Then when I beat the game, I screamed in horror at the fact that you can get it BACK!!!! NOOOOOO!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, whew, I thought I was going to pass out. Huh, huh, is there anything I can say about this game that will lower my adrenaline? Yes, and it's still not good news. back into the topic of the depression factor. There is one other horrid thing the symbiote does if you wear it for too long, besides feeding off the poor spider, it makes Manhattan Island look like a giant broke wind on it. Cracked streets, polluted skies, fractures on the box buildings, and dead trees to name a few. Now you might understand why I gave the graphics a F.

I'm so enraged at the packages this game failed to deliver, that I don't even WANT to go on with my soul crushing criticism. Instead, I'll end my review with the fact that V.V. is extremely lucky I played the nice guy and let it have a D- as my final grade, 'cause I'm REALLY mad!



Quick Review: 2.9


Pros: I didn't swear in my full review.

Cons: The graphics in this game are a total disgrace to the next-gen of games. Better luck next time guys.

The Pokemon Mystery Dungeon You Are Trapped In

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Red/Blue Rescue Team


Fun: A- It's a shame you have to go around the world to unlock the good parts of this game.

Features: C+

Graphics: C

Controls: B

Multiplayer: N/A

AI: B-

Repetitive Value: C-

Depth: D+

Music: F

Level Design: C

Presentation: B-

Single Player: F The dog is walking the owner on a very short leash.

Overall: C+

I played R.R.T at my friend Brett's house, and LOVED it (apart from severely annoying music, and boring repetitiveness)! Then I got B.R.T. from my aunt for Christmas. When I finally got to play it (I had no DS at the time), BOY did I have a different opinion. When you're going through all those questions to find out which starter you get, wouldn't it be easier just to PICK which starter you want instead of playing "Moment of Truth" to get a good starter? I also found out that leveling up feels slower than in games like Diamond and Pearl. I thought since I have a knack of playing with my starter and partner, how am I going to evolve my recruits when I start getting them. Then I looked and looked for a way to switch leaders to try and get more Exp. to evolve my recruits, guess what? YOU CAN'T!!!! I thought that sucked but I'd try and make the best out of it. After I finally got to the right level to evolve, I didn't evolve on the spot. Waited until after the mission- nothing. I searched for another way. Nothing, NOTHING, NOTHING!!!!!!!!! These disadvantages really makes the game way too hard. Especially, when your on the run. Two framed, leashed LOSERS fighting Moltress? IM-POSS-I-BLE!! I can't get pass that wicked phoenix. Little problems like that make the story mode SO HARD IT'S ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE!!!!

The levels act more like mazes, which add to the dungeon feel of the game which makes the copied graphics look like a rat with a breeding problem. But adding to the particular theme is a dual-edged sword as well. Mazes have dead-ends, so do these levels. If you don't like making worthless trips, use that ITEM. Speaking of, guess which item you buy the most frequently? TM? Berry? Apple? DINGDINGDING Answer C is correct. Why? The games hunger system does. After a while your leader gets tired and wants a snack fast before its HP sinks like a stone. This is annoying because we can't afford to keep buying all these delicious treats and keep room in the toolbox for 'em. It's like forcing a VIP out of their deluxe suite on a cruise ship to make way for a tourist. Do that in real life, and expect an angry Donald Trump on your doorstep. And Pokemon singing choruses of "The Hunger Song" that goes like this:

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

There's no food on the table

And we can't search unless were able

So we ain't going nowhere till we get some fruit

Oya Oyadi Oya Oyade

Will you give us some please?

Gosh, how retarded is THAT!?

On the bright side AFTER you beat the mother, the game FINALLY allows you to do the things you couldn't do before, and the game is so much more fun. It's cool to imagine how much stuffing you can beat out of Moltress and Articuno (teehehe) with your dream team. With all the things I hated, it's still a decent game for Pokemon vets. But the whole problem with the game is the stiff restrictions not removed until the epilogue. And the graphics feel like a lazy import over from RRT. A new trainer might like (or hate) the game more, but us Pokemon masters expected more from a game like this.




Quick Review:

6.9



Pros: Very fun game after...

Cons: ...you get through the very difficult story and over your urge to smash the game with a hammer. Gameplay is quite stiff even after you beat the mother ******.

Wii Play Too Simply

Wii Play


This game is crap. It's so bad I'm not going to even bother giving this game a ****ing rating. Is this a JOKE Nintendo? After setting platinum medal records in all the games in 120 minutes, you realize that all you got for your money that was WORTH buying this relay racer on steroids was (drum roll please)... the Wii Remote. When I had gotten 10 platinum medal records in Fishing in 20 minutes, I stopped playing it and tried to find a stupid reason to go on. Plus I put dents in all the targets in the Shooting Range while doing my homework, posed Miis for five-hundred points while watching Looney Tunes, rallied 200 times in my sleep, put up 25 goals while trying to escape the crumbling World Trade Center, became a pool shark with sore hands, demolished a whole farm while sky diving, and filled a whole scrap yard with tank parts while putting lights on all the trees in our yard. To sum it all up, all the simple stuff takes all the fun out of it.



Quick Review (do I even need to?)


2.0 (F)


Pros: Wii Remotes are nice.

Cons: But why fork out that extra Hamilton for a crap game?

DragonFALL Z BT3

Dragonball Z Budokai Tenkaichi 3


(Man, that's hard to spell)


Fun: C+


Features:C+


Graphics: (nothing has changed)


Controls:A-


Multiplayer:B


AI: C


Repetitive Value: D


Depth: D


Music: B-


Presentation: C+


Level Design: A- If only the story was as deep as the glacier level.


Single Player: D- Three fights per saga? Come on, Atari!


Overall: C








After all the popularity DBZBT2 got from us Dragonball fans, Atari had to blow it on a sequel that screams quite early, "I traded my depth and fun for a short, awkward, first impression". You already know something is not right when the game hands you Omega Shenron, Super 17, all forms of Super Buu, Kid Buu, all forms of Frieza, Baby, Uub, a timeline split Goku, almost all fusion characters, etc.. Oh yes, there are many more previously unlock able characters from T2 that are starters. People might think this is awesome, but it takes the fun out of unlocking characters, and ruins the story mode. Speaking of the story, it's been cut to only three fights per episode. Some one's getting lazy. I mean how is the ex. Saiyan Saga any fun if it has been compressed into three, stripped down fights? Add that to the fact that the whole story has been changed into a untrue, confusing mess (Goku was supposed to DIE fighting Raditz and now he doesn't?!?!) that sets off other messes (was Goku returning from Otherworld, or somewhere else on Earth?). But wait, now I know what happened! They sacirficed depth, for (DUNDUNDUNNNNN) cutscenes!!!! That really makes me dance around my room like a giddy, little girl, CUTSCENES! Well... they're o.k, but you've turned the amazing story of the Dragonball Z series into a boring summary in the process. Life lesson #2: There is no point in diving a mile off the ground into a 2 feet deep lake (ever). Transaltion: The shallow storyline defeats the purpose of the machinema.





Adding fuel to the fire, I have never seen a level 1 cpu act more like a level 5 cpu in my life. They are so aggressive, even I had to turn their attack feature off to make sure I could practice my combos in peace (well not exactly). It makes a beginning player, who was so eager to unlock new characters in story mode, feel that they have to know everything before they venture into the real world, and a lot of players ARE beginners. So they gloomily turn the power off, sit in a corner crying about how it's too hard them, while their teenage brother tells them to get a grip. This also goes for story mode too. Oh you wait, it gets worse. MUCH worse. Of all the menu designs, they HAD to chose the ones they chose. Come on! Gohan and Videl riding in a CAR?! Are they nuts? Half of the music sucks, which is a shame considering the great music they had in T2. Oh if only you knew how great DBZBT2 was, maybe you'd understand where I'm getting at.






After all you've heard me rant and rave about this horror film, is there any reason to go on? Yes, thank goodness there is. To cancel out and scrap a B- in music, the rest of the music ROCKS! The title music is arguably better than T2 (That's saying a lot!). Better and best of this... uh... game are the controls. Yes, the controls. They so simplistic that a baby could memorize them in just a day. There is also a day & night system, that makes a good attempt to try and add some reality into the battles and and cover up some of the story plot goof-ups. But I gotta say, the levels are cool but don't they look different? Take the glacier stage. It's deeper but is it as wide as last time?







Quick Review


5.0




Pros: A few better things than T2.


Cons: The stupid story sacrifice really makes the story mode shallow, and boring.